The Matter of a Father and His Daughters is Unique

It’s recorded in Sunan Ibn Mājah, under the Chapter of Honoring One's Father and Being Kind to Daughters (باب بِرِّ الْوَالِدِ وَالإِحْسَانِ إِلَى الْبَنَاتِ) that the Messenger ﷺ said,

"Whoever has three daughters and is patient towards them, and feeds them, gives them to drink, and clothes them from his wealth; they will be a shield for him from the Fire on the Day of Resurrection.”

When young men get married, they are almost always eager to welcome a son as their first child. But when Allāh سبحانه وتعالى chooses for them a daughter instead, it’s as if nothing ever existed except her.

When the father is young, and the daughter is but a few months old, you find him anxious and saddened at the thought that someday, he will have to give her away in marriage. The sentiment is oft-repeated, the thought is constant, “I can’t believe some day I will have to give her away with my own hands and trust another man with her entire life.”

When the father is older, and the daughter is a teenager, you find him stressed and perplexed at her singleness, and he is eager to find her a suitable husband to entrust her affairs too. The worrying keeps him up at night. The search is endless. Every day, he repeats the question, “What if I die tomorrow? Who will look after her?”

And when the father reaches old age, and he has finally married her off, you find him saddened at the distances and emotional at the parting. How many men never publicly shed a tear in their lives, yet you find them falling apart upon sending their daughter off or even thinking of it? Every time she visits and departs, he is bought to tears once again. “Every time she leaves, it feels just like the first time I had to give her away.”

They say the love and good treatment of a parents towards their sons can be due to the worldly benefit he is sure to bring in their old age, such as protection, support, wealth, shelter, continuation of lineage, and permanent companionship. But a daughter brings no such Dunyā benefits to her parents, therefore the feelings Allāh cultivates for her in the hearts of her parents is a completely pure love, and the benefit she brings them will be in the Ākhirah instead Inshā’Allāh.

— Al-Qawāreer (Instagram)